Animal Communication
- views and case studies
Volume 7 No.2 Jul-Dec 2004
Fragile Circle
Spike, a client's much loved
kitty who recently died.Years ago I read a mystery novel that was not that great, but I'll never forget it. At the end, the author wrote a one-page tribute to Cuddles, his cat and muse, quoting the following passage from Irving Townsend:
We who choose to surround ourselves with lives even more temporary than our own, live within a fragile circle.
That just about says it. Unless you have a parrot or a desert tortoise, you'll probably outlive your animals, over and over again. That's why some people vow never to get another animal after their animal dies - it's too painful to think of going through it again. Usually over time, they can't help but let another animal into their hearts.
I get a lot of calls from people extremely upset because their animals are dying or have just died. The first thing these callers do is apologize to me for being upset! I tell them not to even go there. I've had lots of animals leave me and spent endless ragged weeks mourning and longing for them to be back. This is familiar territory. I also understand when people say, in embarrassment, "I loved my animal more than any human I have ever known, including my family, spouse, etc."
Pamela and her Rotweiler Harley were true soul mates. Harley's death earlier this year was hard for both of them.
Pamela and her Rotweiler Harley
were true soul mates. Harley's
death earlier this year
was hard for both of them.The author of the mystery novel I talked about also mentioned being as close to Cuddles as to any human he had ever known. Somehow it seems odd to us to be more upset about an animal dying than a person. But I don't see how could it be any other way.
Animals are pure spirits. They love us and devote themselves to us without reservation. Not many humans are capable of that kind of love. Animals are totally tuned in to us, and once a bond is established they never abandon us. To lose all this when your animal dies can be like losing the ground beneath your feet.
So how does one deal with the death of an animal? Here is the advice I am able to give you from my experience. Even though your animal's body is gone, the spirit will be right there with you after death. I believe that an animal's spirit stays with us until we are able to go on alone. Yet whenever you think of that animal or invoke it in any way, the spirit is right back with you, so you're never really alone and you never truly lose the animals you love. At least, that is my experience of the process.
Animals teach us enormous lessons about death and dying and how to live our lives. Tell your animal out loud why you are happy that he or she came into your life and what you learned from the experience. This can be done before or after death. Just talk out loud and assume the animal can hear you. If you are working with the spirit of an animal, close your eyes and visualize the animal while you talk.
You will experience grief in one form or another when an animal you love dies and it could be very intense. Realize this and prepare for it. Take calming herbs (like chamomile tea) and calming flower essences (like rescue remedy) often. Try the homeopathic remedy Ignacia amara, and use lavender essential oil as aroma therapy. All of these aids are available at your local health food store.
It will also be important to take special care of your body. Get massages, do hot tubs and saunas, and get lots of sleep. Also rent some funny movies so you make yourself come out of your depression even if only momentarily. Let yourself cry as much as you need to. Don't tell people about how you feel unless you know they will be supportive. Many people just don't understand this kind of loss. If it appeals to you, you can seek out a therapy group of others who have lost their animals. Usually, your local Humane Society will know of such a group.
You will eventually recover. The only way to get over grief is to go through it. Eventually too, you will probably get another animal. There are many many animals out there who need and want you love and care. And you will probably fall in love all over again and again have to go through the grief of losing that animal. I think animal lovers are some of the most educated people on the planet when it comes to understanding death and being able to go through the grieving process.
If you are a multi-animal household you may find that your surviving animals will also grieve for the one who has died. You can do many of the same remedies for them as for yourself: herbs, essences, massage and homeopathics. Consult your local holistic veterinarian or check out the animal supplement sites listed in my Resources:Links section.
I also wanted to give you my advice for how to make the decision about whether and when to euthanize an animal. I base that decision on the animal's quality of life. If an animal is in severe pain that can't be alleviated, or is unable to move and eliminate normally, or over time has become unable or uninterested in eating, it may be more merciful to help the animal die. If the animal is interested in food, moving a bit, able to eliminate somewhat normally and not in a great deal of pain, then I would not make the decision to euthanize. My cat Jenny lived to be about 26 and she was eating and moving around on her own until the day she died. I finally had to put her down because she was no longer absorbing the subcutaneous fluids I was giving and her foot began to swell and grow painful. Euthanasia is always a hard decision to make, and sometimes it is what animals want us to do for them. Other times they want to hold onto life and be in our company as long as they can. The trick is to observe objectivley, set aside our needs and wants, and truly discern what our animals need and want.
Your Stories
A Christmas Tree Story
Annie Traver of Colorado sent me this intriguing story after reading my book.
"I am so grateful to you for writing this book. Your title didn't prepare me for the vast lessons it's bestowed. It will be a lifetime of worthy study. I will now start to talk to all the chipmunks and squirrels who come running every morning when I give them sunflower seeds. Of course I always provide them water in our drought-stricken Colorado.
"I realized that I have already been doing what you are talking about in the book. I was fascinated to remember some 15 yrs ago when I went to a Christmas tree farm with my fiancé and his folks. This was a family tradition for them, which I was unfamiliar with, having had a fake Christmas tree throughout my youth. When I entered the Christmas tree farm, I immediately got the overwhelming feeling of terror and fear -it was palpable. I looked around, men and their sons with chainsaws in hand where racing at feverish pitch to cut down their chosen selection. I reached out and stroked one wee tree and before I could help it, I said to my fiancé, "It's trembling." He gave me a look that said he thought I was nuts, but I knew then and there that I would never do this again and that I would never again have a "real" Christmas tree. Thank goodness the marriage didn't last either!"
Jose and Freya
Gerrie Huits, a student from the Netherlands, recently sent me this story.
"I practice every day talking to animals (and plants and trees and ....) and I do healing as well if necessary, and the results are remarkable. Sometimes I cannot believe it myself. Two weeks ago a very close friend of mine (she lives in Amsterdam) visited me in Wageningen to show me her new dog, a very small puppy called Jose, found in Spain by people who work for the organization that saves greyhounds in Spain. My friend already adopted two greyhounds from Spain a few years ago. One of them is called Freya and she is a very sweet dog but somewhat autistic in contact with people and other animals. Freya finds changes in her routine or in situations very disturbing. Needless to say she was not very happy with Jose.
"I did a reading with the puppy and it turned out that he was a very wise and old spirit. Then we talked a little bit about Freya, because she had tried to bite Jose the day before and my friend was afraid it would happen again. My friend thought that it was out of jealousy, because Jose gets a lot of attention of course. As I was talking to Jose, suddenly Freya popped into my head. At the same time I felt very sad, so I asked Freya if she was sad and if so, why. She told me that she was not jealous of the puppy but sad, because the puppy confronted her with everything she felt she was not, but longed to be: open in contact, free of mind, playful, joyful, not afraid of the world, not afraid of loving. It was very moving.
Spike, a client's much
loved kitty who recently died."And then a miracle happened: the puppy started to talk to Freya. Imagine: the puppy is sleeping in the arms of my friend in my kitchen in Wageningen and talks at the same time with Freya, who is back at her home in Amsterdam. I did not do anything, the animals just talked together in my head. Jose told Freya that he could very much understand how she was feeling and that he felt sympathy for her. But he told her to try to look at these things in another, more positive way. He suggested to her that she could look at him and learn from him how to live life in a more relaxing way. He told her he would be very willing to work with her and show her how to do things if she wanted to, and whatever she decided he would love her anyway. Freya was stunned. She said she had never imagined that that could be a possibility and she was willing to think about it.
"My friend called me that evening and told me that when she and Jose came home, Freya was waiting at the door and instead of growling at Jose and walking away, she touched his head with her nose! This was two weeks ago and now she acts as if she is his mother. She protects him against big dogs on their walks, she plays with him and sleeps with him on the couch! And yes, she looks at him and learns from him. And Freya told me she also has a task now - to be his mum - and that makes her life a lot easier. What a story, don't you think?"
Action Alert
This is an action alert sent out by NRDC about protecting marine mammals.
New scientific evidence shows that intense blasts of mid-frequency sonar, at 235 decibels or more, can cause a whale's organs to fatally hemorrhage. And a growing number of whale strandings and die-offs -- from the Canary Islands to the Bahamas to Japan -- have coincided with the military's use of these high- intensity sonar systems.
Please help put a stop to this senseless killing by going to
www.savebiogems.org/watchlist/takeaction.asp?camp=31&step=2&item=52240
right now and sending the Secretary of the Navy a message urging him to take common-sense steps to protect whales.
Thanks to your strong support, we won a major victory for whales last year when a federal court blocked the Navy's global deployment of a different, long-range sonar system -- called LFA -- because its ear-splitting noise could threaten the very survival of endangered populations of whales.
Now we are taking aim at the Navy's mid-frequency sonar, which is a much more widely used class of systems for detecting submarines.
Believe me, we understand and appreciate that the Navy's mission is defending our nation. But there are very simple ways for the Navy to protect whales that will not interfere with military readiness. Right now, the Navy is needlessly injuring and killing some of the ocean's most majestic creatures -- and that is simply unacceptable.
The International Whaling Commission recently declared that the evidence now appears "overwhelming" that military sonar is causing mass strandings of whales. And the scientific journal "Nature" reports that mid-frequency sonar can cause gas bubbles to form in the blood vessels of panicked whales, tearing holes in their internal organs. Such injuries no doubt cause intense pain.
I want to stress again that such suffering is avoidable -- if the Navy would only take simple measures like avoiding areas where whales are known to migrate and raise their young. But the Navy is unlikely to take such steps unless it hears an outcry from millions of Americans. Please go to
www.savebiogems.org/watchlist/takeaction.asp?camp=31&step=2&item=52240
right away and send a message telling the Navy to stop needlessly harming and killing whales. Then forward this message to as many of your friends and family as possible and ask them to speak out, too.
Let's make sure that no more whales have to suffer and die from mid-frequency sonar.
Sincerely, John H. Adams
President
Natural Resources Defense Council
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